It's always hard when you have to admit to yourself that you're not happy. I don't see that so much as giving up as really just coming to terms with what is your reality. The most difficult thing is knowing that the environment that you're in isn't going to present you with what you're looking for--and maybe being in a place where that isn't present actually enlightens you to what that thing or those things are.
It's not that you aren't willing to do what it takes to find it--it's just that regardless of the leads you have followed and the efforts you have made, nothing has really materialized. And, I think the toughest thing is not really being able to talk about it either because no one is going to have a clue what you are trying to express, you just don't have that kind of relationship with anyone, or you just don't know what to say in the first place--or all of those, or maybe none of them.
I wish I had something enlightening to say. Unfortunately, I don't.
2 comments:
Perhaps happiness is not the state of mind for which we should be striving. Happiness seems more of a fleeting breath in life that comes and goes depending on ones emotional state or circumstances at any particular moment. These can change by the day, hour, minute, or second, depending on one's emotional strength. If emotions rule the mind and spirit, then happiness is simply a part of the ride that one is on. One day, hour, minute, or second you are soaring high with happiness.... the next you are scraping your chin on the ground. But, if one strives to find contentment in all things, knowing that each new moment is an unknown and as such, can bring new prospects, new desires, new loves, and a new beginning to an already old life that is in the past.... then, wouldn't that be a more exciting place to be? There is nothing wrong with being a fatalist who allows life to simply unfold as it will....allowing fate to lead.. allowing oneself to enjoy the lead and to be content with each new direction taken.
Very well said, anonymous. I like your wisdom on the matter. Whoever you are, your comments are welcome.
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